Carole Edith Vivian was born at Brighton, Victoria to James and Jessie
Spence, on the 5th of January, 1932. She
was born into a large and loving family with brothers Malcolm, Allan and
Douglas and sisters Flora, Clair and Margaret. Unfortunately many of Mum's
early years were spent in hospital after she contracted polio and scoliosis at
an early age. These problems left her with the capacity of only one lung
functioning properly and would place a lot more stress on her heart than
normal. However, this helped shape her into a very determined and forthright
individual who would not allow anything to stop her from her goals in life. Mum
didn't have a lot of time for others who used their misfortunes as excuses. She
told us sometimes that, " If you're crying, it doesn't hurt enough".
lt worked - Stephen came home one day clutching his groin saying,
"Mummy don't look, you'll be sick"! He'd been crossing a creek on a
log, and slipped, impaling himself on tea tree sticking up from the water. lt missed his vital organs, but
required quite a few stitches. However, despite being tough, and expecting us
to follow suit, Mum was always affectionate, and we boys always knew that we
were loved.
Against the odds, and doctors' initial diagnosis, she developed a
determination for living that saw her eventually leave hospital to be with her
family. She showed promise at school, even playing in the netball team, and
developed a talent for artistic pursuits. On leaving school, Mum became a
florist, which she loved.
She met a plasterer named Ray Vivian and walked down the aisle with him
in early 1953. During the next few years, again, against doctors' expectations,
she became the mother to three baby boys: Stephen, Mark and me. The family had
moved to Devon Meadows in 1957 onto a 3-acre parcel of scrub and Dad built the
family home. lt was not
quite the same for Mum as for a young mother today: she had 3 children under 5
years old and no electricity for the first few years. Water came from a
2000-gallon tank, and she didn't drive.
As we grew, she encouraged us to be outdoors as much as possible but
this caused some problems. For example, one particular day, when I was about 6,
I came into the house saying "Mummy. I nearly hung myself'. The massive
rope burn around my neck made her realize that I wasn't telling a story. On
another, Stephen and Mark emulated Dad's favorite TV program, Wild Kingdom, and
brought home a snake, live, in a noose. Mum was well aware of the effectiveness
of cages we built, and, after several screams and effective use of the shovel,
her peace of mind was restored.
Mum also encouraged us to exercise our minds. She and Dad were avid
readers, and passed this on to us. She also played card and board games with
us, which has now passed on to the next generation. Mum's siblings and their
families often visited at Devon Meadows, especially on special occasions such
as Christmas and birthdays. On one such occasion, celebrating Stephen's
birthday and Guy Fawkes Night, on the 5th of November, a Òjumping
jack" firework jumped into the entire box of fireworks, resulting in a
Monty Python-style scenario as all concerned scattered to watch the explosions
from a safe distance.
Mum, with Dad, quickly became involved in the local community. Soon
after arriving in "the Meadows", a new friend offered to take her to
a mothers' group. The lady picked her up in a horse and jinker.
When the friend stopped and got out, to go into the store, Mum was a bit
perturbed to be left holding the reins. Mum became secretary of the Recreation
Reserve committee and of the Progress Association, working alongside other
local families such as the Thomas' and Hunts. During her almost 16 years of
service Mum had great pride in driving the development of local facilities, in
particular the construction of the Devon Meadows recreation reserve, which
resulted in the formation of the Devon Meadows Cricket club which became a big
part of her life through her family's involvement. The cricket club saw the
Vivian name become known throughout the district through the boys' performances
(mainly Stephen and Mark) and also equally for the reputation for the afternoon
teas provided and the accuracy of the scorebooks. Again this was the effort of
Mum and her best friend Betty Thomas and it became important to have home
matches at Devon Meadows during the season. During these sporting years the
Recreation reserve was like a second home to the Vivians.
In the local community, Mum came to prominence with her floral work,
winning many prizes for entries at the local flower shows and numerous fetes
that were held. Because of her reputation, she was also engaged to do the
arrangements for family weddings and a number of local weddings as well. Later
on, Mum also became heavily involved with the local china
painting group and sold many of her pieces. She was engaged on several
occasions to do work for local friends on pieces provided.
Devon Meadows also tested Mum's resolve when Dad was involved in a
serious car accident that put much pressure on her emotionally, physically and
financially. She never learnt to drive and the only way to travel was a 2km
walk up and down dirt roads to the bus stop or the local store. Life was much
more challenging than most people realize. For example, at one stage, as well
as the normal home duties, Mum used to milk a cow by hand each day, as well as
make sure that Dad's collection of birds and animals was looked after.
After we all moved out of home Mum worked for several years at the local
store, doing the lunchtime sandwiches. One former school friend of the ours,
Frank Tegiffell would drive from Officer, 25 kms away, for Mum to make his lunch, Another notable
customer was comedian Col Elliot, but she warned him about any jokes being told
at his shows about sandwich ladies.
As we grew up and began our adult lives, Mum and Dad discussed moving to
Queensland, for Dad to work and for Mum's health to be maintained. This was a
tough decision, because, by this time, they were grandparents to Lyndsey and Sean. However, they made the move to Buddina. Dad's work plans never eventuated, but Mum's
health benefited - the warmer climate made it much easier for her breathing and
lessened her aches and pains. ln
their mid-fifties, Mum and Dad took up tennis. They made many new friends, and
Mum supported Dad in his sporting administration roles.
She spent a year by herself, supported by Aunty Clair, who had moved
next door with Uncle Bert, while Dad worked in Melbourne. Dad returned from
Melbourne and they involved themselves in the coast's leisurely pursuits. 2003
began a period of hurt and doubt as Stephen found that he had not beaten his
bowel cancer, and Dad was admitted to a nursing home with a rare brain disease.
2004 was a disaster, with Stephen passing away in January and Dad in
September. Mum was hit very hard, and began to lose motivation for her china
painting. She still kept busy with other community activities, her indoor
bowling a favorite, but as she struggled with her health she sometimes found it
difficult to stay positive, despite the love of family and friends. She had
amazing support from Clair right to the very end. She relished her Tuesdays
with Betty Thomas and library trips and chats with John Shingles, from across
the road. She still defied her doctors' expectations with the same
determination as always.
Mum finally went one step too far, physically, and eventually fell
heavily. With a fractured pelvis, she dragged herself across the floor to ring
the paramedics, then Mark. ln
hospital, she was determined to return home. However, force of will cannot beat nature. Mum's body couldn't sustain the
effort it had been making for the 74 years since she first contracted polio,
and she passed away peacefully. We will always remember her for her sense of humour, her love of her family and friends and her fierce
determination to push through any obstacle. She will be happy now to be
reunited with Dad and Stephen. Rest in peace Mum.